Who knew finding something as simple as God's will could be a lifelong journey?
So after having a few conversations over the last few weeks, I've been wrestling with how to find God's will. There are so many tails to it and I have only begun to unpack all of the boxes of ideas surrounding this subject. It used to be simple to me, I used to think there was one path, and I just had to find it.
All I have to do is find the road, and then stay on it and I'll get to where God wants me to go. If you look down the road, you can even have an idea of where you are heading. How comforting is that? Sign me up. Just point me in the right direction and I will go mach 3 to get there trying my best to keep the steering straight – no problem right?
The problem in my life (and I'm sure I'm the only one) is that the road looks more like this.
So much for mach 3, it's hard enough staying on the road going slow. What happens when you go off the road? Is the game over? No, I guess you get some help, put yourself back on the road and keep moving forward.
Here's the other problem – once you get through the curvy part of the road, you may get the chance to face this one…
Ever been there? Crap…which way am I supposed to go? Which one of those roads is God's path? What happens if I take the wrong one??? Which job am I supposed to be in? Where am I supposed to live? What is my role in the church, or this world? So many questions, and I don't see a road sign down there anywhere…
So, guess I'm back to this scenario…
I don't know, still doesn't seem right though, this still makes me believe there is only one path even though I'm wandering through the desert to find my way. Is that really how it is? Is there really only one true path for my life? What happens when life is coming at me fast and the road is curving all over the place? What happens when I come to a crossroads and don't know which way to go, or am wandering through the wilderness? Guess it's just a hard time in life and you get over it right?
I'm starting to see things differently now. I no longer think there is only one path for my life – one God, one Christ and one Salvation yes – but not one path only. To me it is starting to take the shape of the picture below, where there are multiple trails one can take on their journey.
It's like our pastor was talking about when he was defining our church as a 'center set' instead of 'bounded set.' He was talking about how difficult it is to herd cats and get them where you want them to go. The best way is to give them a destination and let them figure out how to get there. Looking at the picture below, I'm sure each of those cats arrived at the pail from a completely different location and wandered all over the place before arriving there. Some went fast, some slower, but they all arrived at the same place. Ken used that example of how our church should be – we should all be moving toward Jesus Christ as the center – and we will all have a different experience of the journey as we go.
So, back to my dilemma, how do I know what path to take? If I really do get the ability to choose from multiple paths, how much more pressure do I now have to figure this out? I thought it was tough enough trying to find the one true path, now I have options? Good thing I have friends and family to talk this through…
My wife is amazing and perfect for me in so many ways. She is often my light in a dark place and always has the ability to see things in a way I don't. While I look at this dilemma and see more stress and pressure to pick from multiple doors, she sees it as a freedom God has given us to move in his will while still being given choices. It allows us breathing room (one of my favorite sayings from so long ago) to figure out the best choice for us – and dare I even say it – to take a look at what we
want to do.
Talking with a friend on Saturday the idea of want came up – and honestly, I haven't thought about that. What do I want? Is it bad to have what I want as long as I'm staying within the guidelines Christ has set for us? It says in the bible God wants us to have a good life, dare I say a great life. So having some choices reflect what you desire and want probably fit into that idea. Sometimes I feel as though I bring the hard times on myself based on the choices I make, or don't make. I understand this is a very true statement (that the choices I make can cause me hard times and pain), but it's also interesting to think that by making a choice for what I want, or would like to do, I could avoid that issue. Maybe if I simply step up and make choices, I can avoid some of the heartache I face. There have been so many times in my life talking to my confidants Abram and Dana where they simply look at me and say, "Then why don't you choose to change that situation and stop whining about it?" (They mean that with all the brotherly love in the world and I thank them each time they do it.)
Example: Sometimes I miss some of my friends and family from Minnesota, Arizona, Chicago, or where ever. It can get me down at times thinking about not being there, or not knowing what's going on with them. At that point, I can make a choice to give them a call and catch up, or go for a visit – which provides relief – or I can choose to keep feeling bad for myself. Either way, I'm still in God's will (I'm sure there is an argument that wallowing in self pity may be outside God's will, but roll with me here) so the choice I make can help dictate my level of heartache and discomfort.
When I look back on my life, there have been many crossroads to face. One of them was choosing a college. I had a few to choose from and I really don't believe God would have been disappointed with me if I chose Florida State over Michigan (or any of the others for that matter). I think it would have simply created a different set of choices to make once I walked through that specific door. I'm glad I chose to come to Michigan – it's where I met my wife after all and we all know what a mess I was before that – and by making that choice, there were a whole set of new doors for me that would have never been there had I stayed in Minnesota or gone to Florida.
I'm reminded of the movie Mr. Destiny. I know, corny movie that most people say wasn't that great – of course I was a fan. In that movie, the main character always wanted to go back and change one thing in his childhood, just one little event that happened a long time ago thinking his life would be so much better. On his birthday, he gets his wish granted and that event is changed – problem is his life is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT – nothing is the same and the wife he had and loved, is no longer with him. That one change altered his entire life – and I believe that can be the case with us. One choice we make sets us down a road to other choices – and depending on the choices we make, we have the opportunity to forge our own path and create this life with God.
He we go again – now I'm walking lightly trying not to make the wrong choice and go down the wrong road…talk about stress…or is it? Again – and this is an important point – as long as I'm staying within the framework Christ has set for us, is there a wrong road? As long as I'm walking this out, heading toward him as the center, does it matter what path I take to get there? Wouldn't it stand to reason that as I draw closer to God my choices would start to mirror his anyway? I don't know, tough questions to answer. As J would say, "How great is that?" To have that much freedom and still be walking with God and living in his will is such an amazing relief. I would agree that even though I'm given the freedom to choose, God always knows the choices I will make ahead of time – and no, I don't really want to get into a debate about pre-destination…
Apparently I have more thoughts on this than I knew since this is probably the longest blog entry I've ever had and probably lost most of you at the second picture due to boredom or lack of time. For those still with me, does this make any sense at all? Have you ever thought about this, and if so, what conclusions did you come to?
Since everything boils down to movies for me, I am reminded of the Matrix when Neo is talking to the Oracle. He is having a hard time figuring out his path and what will happen. She says, "We can never see past the choices we don't understand." An example would be trying to figure out where to live. Should I live in Michigan, Florida, England, etc? For me, I have to find a job first and where I'm living will follow that decision – that's just how my mind works. I have a hard time seeing myself living anywhere until I make the first choice of where to work. I can't see past the decision of my career until I understand why I have made the choices I did. Once I understand those choices, everything else will be more clear and the decisions I must make will be easier. (On a side note, I'm not planning on changing careers at this point, that was simply an example – and no, we are not moving to England.)
So, I guess at this point the bottom line for me is how grateful I am for God's freedom and grace as I try to walk this out. For the ability to think about things and question them. For being given the opportunity to play a bigger role in this life with my choices – choices for me, for my family, and for others. I can choose to make a loud noise and be visible, or to fade into the background going un-noticed in the effect I may have. I can choose to be active in my church, or to slip in and out quietly for a time. I can choose to help those around me and edify them, or just walk through this life 'minding my own business.' I can even go further with my choices to be active in my church, edifying those around me,
and being quietly in the background so others can get a chance at their 5 minutes of fame. So many variations of the choices and possibilities – and no stress what-so-ever…
Now all I have to do is figure out which door to choose…
If you think about it, how many times have we heard that in our lives? Time and time again until it is a cliché now – "Stop and smell the roses." I'm sure we all hear it many times, but rarely take time to do what it says. I remember one of the first times I heard this message, it was by one of my favorite people of all times, Ferris Beuller. He said, "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Dead End, Exit Here, Do Not Enter. Those would make this journey so much easier – either that or autopilot, "Here God, take the wheel and wake me up when we get there." As I'm sure we can all attest, this is not the way it works – our life signs are rarely that clear or obvious. That is why I take it all the more serious when I do get a sign I can read that is clear…so I guess it's time to slow down just a bit…
